do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
