Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
