Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
