I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize