she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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