Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
