Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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