so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
