just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
