I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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