I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
