it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
