I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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