My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
