I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
