Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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