hotel room ftw
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
