I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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