Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
