Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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