i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
