every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
