I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
