The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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