just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
