I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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