Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
