so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Someone came in the potted fern
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
