then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
