I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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