There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
