i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
