for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
