when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
