Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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