I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize