Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
