all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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