do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize