Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
