I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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