your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
