There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
