There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
