Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
