Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
