Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
