do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
