But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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