Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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