what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
