i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
