Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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