If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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