I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
