I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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