saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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