After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
