You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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