Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize