dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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