My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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